Trouble Abe-Rooing!

“How’s it going up there, Roo?”

Zaza leans back in the captain’s chair, taking a long drag from the eucalyptus cigar. He looks down at the console in front of himself, waiting for the response. After a long moment, he scowls, depressing the button on the comm system once more. “Roo? Can you hear me - over?”

“Yes,” Roo’s voice responds.

Glaring down at the microphone, Zaza punches down the button once more.

“And the repairs?” he listens for a response, before slamming his paw down, growling, “…over.”

“They’re not.”

“Not what?” the koala asks. 

“Over.”

Grumbling, he leans back, folding his arms across his chest as he gnaws on the cigar. He sent Roo out over an hour ago to clean off the solar panels that helped power the systems of the PB-82. His eyes scan the multiple monitors that watch the decks, first looking to the panels which are still very much uncleared and kangaroo free, then through each room before landing on the galley where Roo stands. He is focused on the microwave

“This fucking kangaroo…” Zaza growls, pulling the cigar free. Smashing the button down, he does his best to control his anger. “How far along are you?”

He watches Roo pull a cup of noodles out and poke at it with his fork. 

“Roo?”

With a sigh, the kangaroo finally reaches over and pushes down on the call button. “It’s coming along. Lot of dust.”

Zaza watches him go back to sprinkling the seasoning into the steaming cup, shaking his head.

“Youse need a hand?”

“No, I’m almost done here,” Roo says, twisting the noodles around the fork. “Shouldn’t be long.”

“Roo?” Zaza coos.

“Yeah, mate?”

“Stop eating noodles and get up on the fucking roof!” The kangaroo's ears perk up and he looks around, searching for his partner. Finally, his eyes land on the camera and he smiles coyly. “NOW!”

Zaza leans back again, watching Roo look at the noodles before reluctantly leaving them on the counter. He continues to watch the kangaroo make his way through the cabin and towards the exterior hatch. Wrapping a harness loosely over his shoulder, Roo pushes through, closing the hatch behind him - broom in paw. 

He begins brushing away dust, only to stop suddenly, staring into the distance.

“Zaza?” he says calmly.

“What?” the koala growls.

“What is that?” Roo asks, pointing starboard. Zaza squints his eyes towards the monitor, a large shadow approaching. 

“What is-“ he asks, before his voice is drowned out by a deafening screech, followed by the sound of a massive form slamming into the side of the blimp, hurling him from his chair. He smashes into the wall, where he sinks limply to the ground.

“Knock it out, Roo.”

Zaza groans, swatting the air above him. The end of a stick presses itself into his grey fur, eliciting a second moan. “I said…knock it-!”

He sits up, his paw catching the offending object. The rest of the words get caught in his throat as he finds himself face-to-face with a fully naked woman. 

“Who the hell are youse?” Zaza asks, pushing himself upright. His eyes dart around to survey the scene around him. The PB-82 dangles loosely from the cabling that once was connected to the blimp, the front windshield shattered, but otherwise the hull remains mostly intact.

“I could say the same to you,” she says. There is little to no surprise in her face upon seeing a talking koala, she merely leans back on her heels, tilting her head to the side. A hand gestures towards the wreckage above. “Is this your balloon?”

“It was,” he mutters, picking a shard of glass from his fur.

“Did you not see me flying?” she asks sternly. It takes a moment for him to piece it together before his bewilderment turns to anger. 

“You’re the one who hit my zeppelin?!” he asks, rising to his feet. His paws clench into tiny fists, but despite his posturing he barely comes to her clavicle. 

“You’re the one who hit Abe,” she corrects.

“What the fuck is an Abe?” he asks, however, she turns away from him. There is a rustle amongst the trees followed by the screeching of birds. “Hey, I’m talking to you!”

“Zip it, broski,” Bonnie says, turning her ear up to the treeline as she listens to the sound of the forest. She chirps in bird speech. 

“Who do you-“ he starts to protest, only to be cut off by Bonnie diving atop of him, just as a pair of darts whiz overhead.

“Hey get offa me!”

“We are not alone,” she hisses, leaping to her feet. Without hesitation, she catches hold of his wrist and rushes into the thick foliage, away from the wreck. 

“My blimp!” Zaza cries out, as she hoists him onto her shoulder. “What are you doing, you crazy naked bitch?!”

“Put me…down!”

The koala is finally able to break himself free from her grip, tumbling down her back and into a pile of leaves. He pops up in a huff, glaring over to his nude companion. 

“What was that? Who was shooting at us?” he asks. Bonnie appears to be listening for something, her eyes locked on the treeline. Irritated, Zaza kicks her in the shin. “Hello?!”

“We are being followed; we must go,” she says, reaching down to take his paw. He jerks it away.

“By who? I want some answers lady! Where are your clothes?”

“I do not know exactly…they call them the Wild Ones.”

“They?” he asks, looking around. 

“The birds,” she answers plainly.

“The birds,” he says, his anger again rising, “You’re tellin’ me that youse can talk to birds?”

She nods.

“Listen lady, no offense…” he begins, taking a step back. “I don’t want to get wrapped up with some nutter who thinks they can talk to birds - I gotta go find my buddy Roo.”

A screech in the distance causes Bonnie to stop, a distressed look on her face. “Abe?”

She lets out her own version of the caw, stopping to listen. No response. Frantically, she turns in the other direction, letting out another loud chirp. 

“Lady, listen if you’re some sort of escaped looney tune, I can empathize but…” she moves past him, letting forth another screech. “Hey! Listen to me.”

“I have to find Abe,” she once more grabs Zaza’s paw and yanks him along like a child would their stuffed toy. “They’re coming.” 

The two take off, Zaza resisting at every step. 

*SWOOSH* 

A dart heads toward Zaza, but Bonnie catches it matrix-style and hurls it back in the direction whence it came from. Another dart zings in, but Bonnie isn’t matrixy enough this time and it impacts her shoulder. She stumbles and activates an environmental trap - a hole in the ground - plummeting a good number of feet into it, landing with a splash as water is at the bottom. 

“Shit, shit, shit! Lady, are you okay?” 

A pained scream is the reply. The ruffling of leaves sounds around him and, in that moment, Zaza roars like a massive grizzly bear instead of the adorable little Koala we know and love. Apparently it scares the shit out of the unseen attackers, as ruffling of leaves are heard again, but this time seemingly retreating. 

“Can youse get out? We gotta go!” he bellows. 

“No! I’m hurt. You’ll need to pull me out. God it’s cold! This water! Halp!”

“Shit!” Zaza frantically searches and drops a vine down. Within moments she’s out of the hole, dirty, wet, super cold. She instinctively nabs Zaza up and uses his fur to wipe off her wet, naked, muddy body. 

“Hey!” he begins, but before he can break free - *Twack! tattatatatatata* - both are turned into pincushions, darts galore stuck in their bodies.   

“Let’s go - let’s….go” they say in unison, eyes droopy, words slurred. Bonnie collapses with Zaza atop her,  his cute furry unconscious face buried in her buxom breasts. 

“You should have run.”

Zaza's eyes slowly open to see Bonnie hanging in front of him, her arms bound to a pole. The two are being carried by a group of men wearing horrifying masks and little else. He can feel his head still spinning.

“You’re right,” he groans, closing his eyes again in hopes that the feeling subsides.

“Where are you taking us?” Bonnie asks. The lead Wild One, pole balanced on his shoulder, turns her way. He responds in English to their surprise.

“You are to be a sacrifice to the risen Gods,” he explains. The encampment opens up in the middle and the two are set upright into the ground, aimed towards a large throne. An ominous drumming begins, and Bonnie looks over to Zaza.

“This isn’t good…”

“Silence!” the lead Wild One proclaims, hoisting his arms towards the throne. “Risen lords! We call upon you to accept our offer! Hear us, oh lords!”

Suddenly, there is a large shadow that covers the small village. Each member of the tribe drops to their knees, kowtowing towards the throne. A rapid gust of wind marks the descent, followed by a familiar ear splitting screech.

“Abe?” Bonnie says, her bewilderment turning to excitement as the massive eagle sets down onto the throne. A smaller, tan form hops from his back.

“Roo?” Zaza asks, his expression less of joy and more of outrage. Abe clicks joyfully as Roo causally pulls a Red Vine from a pack, nibbling on the end. He smiles coyly.

“Hey guys!”

The scene opens up. Bonne is once again perched on the back of Abe. Roo has slid in behind her, his tail wrapped around her narrow waist for support and Zaza’s head peaks out front the pouch, Red Vine tucked in his lip.

“Y’all wild things are the cute type. The novelty genre of wild - the mild wild. I bet y’all crank up the wildling in ya anytime y’all go 5 miles over the speed limit. I kid, I kid. But seriously. Heh. I know y’all can get rowdy some though. You wouldn’t have those belts if it ain’t true. But me and Roo? We’re the real wild. We were born into it. Lived in it. Raised by it.”

The eagle catches a current and descends rapidly, causing Zaza's head to duck into the pouch.

“Roo and I didn’t have our first calm day until we reached adulthood. I’m so wild that when I shadowbox I win by submission. I wild out so much that I wrestle bears for training and pour lemon juice in my eyes to make it fair for them. I’m so cray-cray I break my own bones to condition them. And don’t even get me started on how wild Roo is.”

The kangaroo nods his head.

“I’m wild,” he says calmly. 

“But wild doesn’t win matches. Being wild is a way, but not a weapon. We know this - and yet we embrace the path. It’s how you handle each and every moment that comes your way. It’s survival - its power - and it’s the ability to overcome anything, no matter the pain. No matter the price. No matter what it takes. Do you have that in you?”

The eagle stops diving and levels out. Zaza's head pops out.

“Nah, probably not,” the koala chips in, “Pair of punks is what I see. Scared and ready to soil themselves at the first sight of a fight. See, in the wild, it’s kill or be killed, and I think you’re too soft - two plush teddy bears. So what happens when the rubber hits the road? You gonna stand up, or get stuffed?”

“You gonna match up, or get muffed?” Bonnie asks.

“Either way, it all ends the same,” Roo says with a grin, flexing his paw.

“Me punching you - right in the face.”

The trio laughs, Abe joining in with his own chirping as the scene fades to black.